The whereabouts and goings-on for Winlar, freelance writer and creator of the sketch comedy group Kazoo!
Winlar performs regular comedy shows, DVDs of which can be obtained by emailing winlar@gmail.com
It’s been a wonderful party And now things are windin’ down But I can see what you’re up to gal Yeah I’m a been who’s guyed around
You think I’m just a little slit boshed And you can have your way with me!! But I got a surprise for you there babe As you shall soon see
(Chorus)
I’m not as think as you drunk I am I ain’t beer that much had I can still straight up tall and stand No, I ain’t tooin’ do bad! I’m still thinking bell as a clear I’m just as tack as a sharp my dear. So don’t you natronprize me there ma’am I’m not as think as you drunk I am
(Bridge) I’m not so confused It’s all a clever ruse And since I can’t seem to keys my place Why don’t we make out? You’ll see it’s just a fake-out I ain’t even close to fit-shaced.
I know you’re getting all worked up Listnin’ to my silophosie You’re thinking, “man, he can hold his liquor Gosh I wish he was holding me!” How can a man put ‘em back like I do And not get remotely ripped I can drink all the booze I want If I just take tiny sips
(Chorus)
(Bridge 2) Oh, I may speak queerly But I can see clearly Through my whatsome intoxicated eyes Please don’t demean this I really really mean this When I say I really love you guys. No. No.I REALLY love you guys NO!I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS!
I’ve seen the way that I look at you Your eyes literally shout it You think that I’m in the state I’m in And you might do someone adoubt it You think I’m she treats to the wind And tonight just might be your night Well I got sad news for you there babe! …you’re probably right…
This week's song seems apropos, as a comment on Hillary's assault on mathematics. The Clinton campaign's "We've received more popular votes" nonsense is an affront to common sense and clear thinking everywhere. Hillary, you know we love you, but the fact is that Obama is ahead by half a million votes. Check out this very informative link: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2008/president/democratic_vote_count.html\ (Please forward that link to everyone you know in the interest in getting the unspun truth out.)
To keep repeating this obviously fraudulent claim goes well beyond spin and into blatant outright lie territory. Worse is that members of the mainstream media have picked up on it, and keep repeating this fabrication of logic. Shame shame shame.
As a Washingtonian, what galls me most is that with her slanted statistics Hillary not only throws out my state's unpublished caucus results, but also doesn't count our somewhat pointless but still official state primary! Obama beat her ass two times up here on the west coast of western civilization yet she chooses to ignore both in her anti-logic. She's ignoring the voters of my state TWICE!
Here's a thought. You say you're fit to be president? Well start ACTING PRESIDENTIAL for crying out loud. Presidents need to level with the public, shouldn't try to make lies true by repeating them, and can't change the laws of arithmetic when it's convenient. No wonder you're losing among the college educated and those who have the unfortunate habit of "paying attention."
So anyway, it hurts my educated brain. So here's a song about that:
I’ve been trying to follow politics, and it just hurts my head It fills me with confusion, migraines, angst and fear and dread When I try to get my head around what's happenin' it hurts me So I went to see a doctor, who came up with a remedy
He said what I got goin' wrong up there, what’s making me morose Is unlike the average American, I'm followin' things too close It’s not whatI don’t understand it’s that I understand too well And that’s caused by these growths in my skull-ular region that the medicos call “brain cells”
So he gave me an easy prescription that I’m quite anxious to try I got a few brain cells too many.I gotta make them go bye bye!
The doc could tell me right away, why politics make me hurl I got an NPR type mind you see, and it’s an MTV type world And that's why I'm not gettin' this thing called "Democracy" It's being run by folks who watch reality TV
VH1 and C-SPAN both make more sense when you’re high Got a few brain cells too many, gotta make them go bye-bye
Bridge
Now, The preferred way to kill brain cells is banging your head on the wall Or just watch the State of the Union Address, and that should pretty much take care of them all But I’ve got a plan that’s much more fun, and just might work a little quicker Those brain cells think that they’re so smart, let’s see if they can handle their liquor!
Let’s see if they can stand up to the whiskey and the rye Got a few brain cells too many. Gotta make them go bye bye
And now I'm fittin' right in, I'm following everything to the letter Sure the country and my liver may be going to hell, but my attitude couldn't be better Now, me and the American public, we got but three brain cells between us What else explains a land where Karl Rove is considered a genius?
It’s time for my medication, so here’s mud in yer’ eye I got a few brain cells too many, I’m gonna make them go bye-bye!
Girl you left me Made me blue I cried all the way through the drive-thru And at the window Destiny A reminder how things could be Golden brown Cylindrical Potato magic so wonderful They came to me Sizzling hot Just like sex with you was not (I had perspective on our relationship. And it goes something like this.)
(Chorus) Girl you’re hot I liked you quite a lot But what you’re not Is Tater tots (Repeat)
Potato pieces chopped up fine And then rejoined a second time Held together By mystery The way that love’s supposed to be A magic bond Thicker than blood Between reconstituted spuds Proof that our love Was a lie Inside a Taco time mexi-fry (Girl, a fast-food side dish taught me more about love than you ever could) (Chorus)
(Bridge) Tater tots From Taco time Were once coated with spice and lime But slowly as Things came about The spicy seasoning was fazed out Much like immigrants From Mexico Often let their cultures go In efforts to Assimilate Into these United States (It’s very sad, this particular metaphor, but it is undeniable that tater tots and the American dream are quite delicious.) (Chorus)
So girl we had A lot of fun But the tots tell me we’re done They make feel Comparatively great When juxtaposed with our many dates A simple tuber Rightly fried Can make me feel just as good inside And here’s the really Bitter part I think they’re better for my heart (Sorry Girl, the tots have spoken)
(Chorus)
What’s that girl? You want me back? Sorry girl, that ship has flown. Girl, you smell good. What’s that behind your back? Girl? Is that two large orders of TacoTime mexi-fries? One for you, and one for me? What? One and a half for me, and a half for you? Oh, you’re on a diet. Huh. Girl, I think I may just give you a second chance…
Girl I thought I’d give you another shot Because you brought Some tater tots (Repeat)
I keep breaking up with you, boy Can’t stand you one bit, but you’re so hard to quit Each time we break up, yeah, it’s a safe bet You’ll be back in my mouth like a cheap cigarette
Chorus: Seems nothing can come between us ‘Cause you’ve got a nicotine penis Each time I’m with you it leaves me so sad Foul taste in my mouth and my breath it smells bad
But all of my plans to leave you Jack-o They go up in smoke like so much tobacco I try to stay away, I try to not date But I get real, real cranky and gain lots of weight
(Chorus)
Bridge: I’ve got to find another way I’m into you three packs a day This has gone way too far After all a cigar is just a cigar Just a cigar…
Even though you’re no great romancer Your love eats away at my heart like a cancer I’m like a victim in some sad fable Love ought to come with a warning label
(Chorus)
So it’s no use, from good sense I’m evicted Come to me, baby, I’m full on addicted I’m all yours baby, please do not shun me Take me away to flavor country
